Homily for 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

We know the old commandment, “Honour your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). We know the new commandment of Jesus, “Love one another; even as I have loved you” (John 13:34). And we come here today and we hear these words of Jesus: “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). How can we reconcile these seemingly contradictory demands? How can we “hate” those we are supposed to love? And, more importantly, why?

The paradox of hating those we love was dramatised in a most fascinating way on Saturday, September 8, 2001 in the women’s finals of the US Open tennis tournament in Flushing, New York. For the first time in the history of the tournament, the world watched a sportive and emotional roller-coaster as two sisters who love themselves so much that they live in the same house and share the same hotel room fought each other. Could you imagine what was going on in the minds of Venus and Serena Williams as they battled and slugged it out against each other, suspending their love for each other and at least temporarily “hating” each other? They had to “hate” each other because the one was standing in the way of the other becoming the world champion. The one was an obstacle to the realisation of the other’s dream to wear the world crown. And so they had to hate and fight each other.

Venus won. But she did not do her usual victory leap and celebratory display. Instead she ran to the net, put an arm around her defeated junior sister’s shoulder and said, “I love you.” Why did she say that? Because the game is over now and her sister is no longer an obstacle in the way of her victory. She said, in other words, “I am sorry, but I had to do it: I had to fight you so hard, I had to “hate” you because you were standing in my way. But I still love you.” That was a rare example of hating those we love, and from it we can learn much about the injunction to “hate” our loved ones.

Ordinarily Venus loves Serena, except when Serena becomes an obstacle that could prevent her from realising her ambition to win the crown. Similarly we are lo love our parents and siblings and spouses, and indeed everyone else, except when they become obstacles in our bid to win the crown of eternal life. The crown of heavenly glory that the Father gives us is worth much more than the ephemeral crown that Venus won on that day. So we should be prepared to wage an uncompromising war to see that no person or thing stands in our way to make us lose the crown. Possessions constitute a formidable obstacle in many people’s bid for the crown of salvation. That is why Jesus concludes today’s gospel with these words: “So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions” (v. 33).

Jesus implies that to be his disciple is to relativize every other thing in life: family or wealth, prosperity or health, pleasure or fame. He means that on the list of our goals and priorities in life, attaining the kingdom of God must come first and then everything else will follow. It is a matter of life and death. And the examples he gives to illustrate the seriousness of his teaching come from the field of war.

The first illustration is that of the man who intends to build a tower. The tower in the ancient world was basically a strategic structure for the defence of the city in time of war. The second illustration is that of the king marching out to war. Notice that the king has only 10,000 troops whereas the enemy has 20,000. Identifying ourselves with the king in the parable, we can see that the enemy outnumbers us two to one. “For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). We are bound to fail unless we appeal to a stronger king to come to our assistance. And that powerful king, the King of kings, is none other than God Himself.

Today’s gospel, therefore, shows us how absolute and how radical are the demands of discipleship. Following Jesus is much harder than winning the US Open. The good news is that Jesus recognises our human weaknesses: we are 10,000 strong and the enemy is 20,000. It is, therefore, an invitation for us to have recourse to God, for without God we can do nothing.

In the days of institutionalized slavery in the United States of America, the slaves devised an intricate network of roads, pathways and secret contacts for escaping known as the Underground Railroad. The Underground Railroad was an arduous and very risky venture, but it took successful runaway slaves to freedom in the Free States and Canada. Can you imagine slaves risking their lives in a daring escape to freedom in Canada only to be sent back to their former slave owners from whom they had just escaped? And yet this is apparently what Paul is doing to the runaway slave Onesimus in the second reading. Paul has been criticised for condoning slavery. He teaches that people should remain in the same social condition in which God called them and that slaves should not seek their freedom (1 Corinthians 7:20-21). Yet the same Paul says that “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). What can we make of Paul’s teaching on slavery?

Our first observation is that Paul is not interested in human or social values for their own sake. For him the only thing that matters is to be in Christ. You remember the story of the slaves being loaded off the slave ship, naked and in chains, and a Christian minister sprinkling them with holy water and baptizing them as they disembark. For this minister, being in chains does not really matter, what matters is being baptized and saving one’s soul. We have come a long way from that position. Today we know that freedom and human rights are of value in themselves, whether the people affected are Christians or not. Today we are aware of human rights and values which should be defended for everyone irrespective of their religious affiliation. Today the church has a social gospel in addition to the traditional spiritual gospel.

Paul’s gospel, however, was a spiritual gospel. It is good news addressed not to the whole of humanity but to those who are in Christ Jesus. In Christ, social status does not matter, it does not count. In Christ there is no longer Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female, since in Christ everybody is equal. Those outside of Christ do not share in this equality. Paul appeals to Philemon to receive Onesimus back “no longer as a slave but more than a slave, a beloved brother” (verse 16) not because slavery is morally wrong, not because a Christian should not keep slaves, but because a Christian cannot keep a fellow Christian, a brother or sister of equal standing before God, as a slave. Later, as Christians began to realise that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, that what is good for Christians is also good for non-Christians, they would begin the campaign to abolish slavery from the face of the earth.

As Christians in the 21^st century reading a personal letter that Paul wrote 2,000 years ago, what good news do we find in it? How does it challenge us?

Paul’s Letter to Philemon reminds us that as Christians we need to have higher standards of moral behaviour among us than what obtains in the society at large. If it is true that among us “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28), then we need to have more egalitarian structures in Christian communities and churches than what obtains in the wider society. Our oneness in Christ should come before our differences of age, race, gender, and social status in such a way that non-Christians seeing the way we live can say, “See how much they love one another.

Secondly, Paul’s Letter to Philemon is a sad reminder to us that even Paul did not have all the answers. As a church, Jesus promised us that the Holy Spirit will guide us into all the truth (John 16:13). The Spirit has led us to see that the gospel of Christ is for the total liberation of the whole person, body and soul, social and spiritual. Let us pray today that we may be more keenly aware of the abuses of human rights that are going on in our homes, in our communities and in our world.

If Jesus had hired me as a management consultant in order to bring about a change in the corporate culture of the People of God, I would never have advised him to rely so heavily on the model of family. Yet that is precisely what He did. “Who is my mother?" He once asked, "and who are my brothers and sisters?" Then He plunged ahead and told us that if we do the will of His heavenly Father, if we love God, do justice and walk humbly before the Lord, then He, Jesus, would give us His mother, be our Brother, and cause His Father to be our Father. He will even go so far as to give us His Precious Blood so that we will be His blood brothers and sisters. That is quite extreme, I'd say… as well as quite astonishing. So it is we go today in our second reading to find a quote in St. Paul’s letter to Philemon. Unfortunately we read this passage only once every three years. It would benefit us to study it more often. So it’s quite worthwhile for us to pause today and reflect on it. Paul is writing this letter from a prison, writing it to the head of a little family of Christians he started probably located in a town near Colossae, in what is today known as Turkey.

Paul has Timothy sign it along with him and mentions that five other Christians are also imprisoned along with him. He wants the recipient of this letter, Philemon, to take it very seriously. I want to highlight for you today the family language St. Paul uses. Timothy is called "brother", Philemon is addressed as "beloved", Apphia is "our sister", and Onesimus is someone St. Paul proudly claims to have "fathered" into the Faith. Under Roman Law Onesimus was a slave. Here in this letter St. Paul calls for him to be considered by the Christians of Colossae no longer a slave but rather to be regarded by them as "a brother in the Lord." Later, in his Letter to the Galatians, Paul will broaden out his vision and proclaim that for Christians "There is neither Jew nor Greek . . . neither slave nor free person … neither male nor female; for we are all one in Christ." We are family -- a loving unified family -- with God as our Father. In the thinking of Jesus, this family's importance even transcends membership in one's natural family. That is, of course, extreme. But God makes extreme demands upon us. If you take God seriously then you will come to know that Christianity is an adult religion that requires very mature and very adult decisions, decisions that are hard and demanding, decisions that are extreme, because God wants all of our love, not just an hour of our love on Sunday (if, in fact, we give Him even that little crumb!) Belonging to His family has greater importance than belonging to our natural, earthly family.

To return now to my opening remark, why would I caution against all of this "family talk"? Well, because of the sad state in which we find in families these days. More than 50% of marriages now end in divorce. Adultery, promiscuity and infidelities permeate many of our families, even some of our leading families. Children are abused by their fathers and their mothers as well. Women are battered, men are held in contempt. Abortion is increasingly a part of our modern American families. Even the very definition of what it means to be a married couple is under assault. It is not a happy model to be using these days in order to teach us about loving others as God wants us to. But on the other hand, maybe it is exactly the image that Christians should be using in order to learn of the kind of love and commitment Jesus wants from us. Maybe His image, His picture, His vision and model for family is precisely what our modern American families need as an antidote to the terrible sickness that seems to be infecting our society.

Maybe Jesus was a whole lot more savvy than we think! In another letter, this one to the Corinthians, St. Paul speaks of what it means to live together as a family, particularly in the family of Christ. He tells us that if we speak to each other in our families in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, well, then, we are only clanging gongs or tinkling cymbals. If we speak of God's love and can fathom His mysteries in full knowledge and with a faith that can even move hearts made of mountains of stones, but have no love, well, then, we are good for nothing. If we share everything we have and even bum out our bodies in exhaustion while working for our families, but have not love, well, then, we gain nothing. Can we live in a family and be always patient? Always kind? Can we stop living in sibling rivalry and envy? Must we boast to each other? Must we live in competitive haughtiness and pride in order to show others up? Why are we oft times more rude to the members of our own family than we are to outsiders who are not a part of our family? Why do we treat non-family folks better than we treat those in our own families?

Why do we fly off the handle at the slightest remark or because of the smallest little thing that we consider to be out of place in our homes? Why do we keep long records of every time we've been hurt and cling to our resentments like we, as children, used to cling to our security blankets? And must we feel happy and vindictive when someone else in our family makes a mistake or commits a sin, and we follow it up with a snotty "see, I told you so!"? This is a long and seemingly impossible list of questions to answer. In answer to them we have hope given us in Christ when He told us: "With man it is impossible. But with God, all things are possible." Love – true family love – is the antidote to our sickness. Real love in a family, it seems to me, doesn't delight in evil but rather rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and is always constant, steadfast and persevering.

If we never fail in loving those in our families, then our families will likely never fail in loving us. For everyone we've ever really loved will be redeemed - it's all a matter of loving them so much that we won't cast them aside. Christ is very demanding; He has the greatest expectations of us. To be a Christian goes far beyond simply being a nice person. To be like God, truly god-like, we must turn the other cheek, forgive seventy times seven times, and always go the extra distance, far beyond what is expected, tar beyond what we consider to be fair or just. For God's measurements are not our measurements; His boundaries are not our boundaries. And if we are to take all of this "family talk" seriously and really think it through, then we have some forgiveness to seek as well as some forgiveness to give in order that we might truly live in the freedom of the sons and daughters of God as the family He wants us to be. And then with Jesus we can pray the great family prayer He taught us, the prayer that begins with “Our.” I’m going to pray it out loud now, and slowly. As I do, think of the meaning of it’s words for you living in your family.

By Bishop Kasomo Daniel

The Bishop of bThe Society of St.Peter and Paul (SSPP)